Christian Porn?
Posted by PKuzma in Leadership on Mar 3rd, 2011 | 29 commentsI admit the title of this post is extreme. Let’s get that out of the way right now.
I think there is such a thing as Christian pornography.
I could probably have thought of a better term for what I am thinking, but I suspect that many pastors will relate to what I’m saying. I would appreciate your feedback, but let’s make it honest, not just “you could’ve thought of a better termâ€. I’ve already admitted that.
In my opinion (not saying it’s yours, or that it has to be yours), and in my personal and pastoral experience, many conferences, especially our obsession for them, border on being “Christian pornographyâ€. For years, I went to conferences to learn what others were doing that I could do better. To see how other churches were reaching their communities in ways that ours wasn’t and “should beâ€.
Somewhere in the journey, something gradually changed. I started going to conferences to see what others were producing that I wasn’t, or we weren’t. I noticed things that were done to their facilities that weren’t done at mine. I allowed a subtle envy to creep into my heart about what others had that I didn’t.
And somewhere, it became Christian pornography.
An obscene thing was happening in my heart for the “things of others†over the “things of Godâ€.
A fellow pastor would call and report to me what he saw and experienced at a conference he just came home from. As he spoke about the venue and the materials and the programs (uh ….. I mean, ministries) and on and on, I could feel my heart rate increase, and I noticed I was starting to mildly hyperventilate.
In crept the thoughts: where is my “success� What do I have to show off? When do I get a chance to show everyone what we can do and how we do it?
Christian pornography.
Obscene thoughts about what is and isn’t “success†in ministry. Crude mind pictures about “what would Jesus build†and what colors and shapes it would be. Thinking about how to make that happen instead of praying about what God wants to see happen. Trying to word things just right so that it’s worded more sharply than the last church status update someone read (or that I read) on Facebook.
Please understand. I still go to conferences. I want to be a better leader and shepherd. My heart longs to increase our effectiveness in reaching our community. So I am not saying ministry conferences are bad or wrong.
I am not trying to discourage any pastor or leader from participating in conference life. I’m just saying a number of ministry conferences I’ve attended brought out the truth in me ….. that I am an insecure person that too often carried my insecurities into my leadership.
More and more, I am finding that as I deal with my own insecurities as a person, my effectiveness as a person, pastor and leader increases. I’m going to write more about the issue of insecurity in the near future, so watch for those upcoming posts.
In the mean time, your thoughts?
By the way, if you look hard enough, it won’t take much to find comprehensive lists of “must attend†church conferences out there. But, here are two that are NOT on those lists, but really should be:
Emotionally Healthy Leadership Conference
Epic Fail Pastor’s Conference
Check them out, and if you can make either one, or even both, they’ll be really worth it!
Originally posted at http://pastorforlife.org/is-there-such-a-thing-as-christian-pornography/ on February 21, 2011.
Your thoughts?
29 Responses to “ “Christian Porn?”
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I agree! “Christian porn” has left us with sanctuaries full of people who simply “peep” into the kingdom of God without ever experiencing the reality of that kingdom for themselves.
Good continuation of the analogy Greg!
Thanks for taking on the topic of insecurity. It is a HUGE barrier to serving strong in ministry leadership.
Conferences are tools to help us become more of who God wants us to be.
Jesus convicts us higher.
Satan condemns us lower.
Very succinct Scott! Do you have anything on insecurity you’d like to send my way for a guest post in the series?
I can certainly share a bunch on insecurity for a guest post. I’ve got a lot of experience on the topic
Let me know how you’d like to be contacted.
I am not addicted to attending conferences, but I’ve overdosed a couple of times to the online fervor of those who are. Guilty by association I guess. The conference that changed my ministry perspective the most was the one that was not about the facility, or the pastor, or the programs at all. I was blown away last year at http://www.theuprising.net.
My point exactly Tony!
Christian porn is the perfect term for what you are describing. The people in our congregations are just like us…and we wonder why.
There you go Will! Why do we wonder?
Our hearts are wicked, so wicked that even any GOOD thing can be twisted for evil, and ministry easier than many many other good things.
Exactly! Thanks for further clarification of my point Peter!
Nope not porn. Having been exposed to both conferences and pornography, using porn as a metaphore for conferences is overkill. The toll on family, intamacy, profession and reputation as well as a whole host of other areas that porns effect dwarf any negative consequences of a conference addiction. Gluttony seems to fit better. Over time it will kill you but being caught in the “buffet line” is not as damning as being caught with porn on your laptop.
I appreciate the comparison edthepastor, but I’m not too sure it’s overkill. I do see your point, but conference life can take its toll on family, intimacy, profession and reputation if its allowed to be overkill in our lives. And for some it is.
Porn kills in different ways, and quicker than what I am calling “Christian porn”, but it can still be deadly to those areas.
Just my opinion, and thanks for commenting!!
Probably a better analogy would be one of those motivational speaker seminars.. Tony Robbins or Zig Zigler etc.. If you program yourself with the right attitude, you will be successful.
But as Matt Chandler pointed out sometimes being a successful Christian means that you will put foreign armies to flight — Other times it will mean you get devoured by lions. Nobody seems to ever ask the people being devoured how they do it.
Great characterization by Chandler. Hadn’t heard that. My hope is that the ones being devoured and finding their way out will be heard more and more. That’s where I think the couple of conferences mentioned in the post can be helpful.
I think this is an edgy and excellent analogy you’ve made, and the problem really could be applied to many of the struggles of Christendom. So many Christians (and pastors, too) get caught up in the emotional addictions of our culture – maybe they don’t look at pornography as it is traditionally thought of, but they’re hooked on the news of Hollywood and its stars, only think they’ve found “real religion” when they attach themselves to a pastor and church who give them an emotional high every time they’re there… and the end result is the same: they fall away from the true relationship with Jesus which leads to eternal life.
Thanks for an excellent post!
So true Russ. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here!
I am saddened that a Christian used this term as you did. I agree with what EdThePastor said, and here is what I wrote to a pastor that posted this link on facebook.
First Post:
i’m sad someone wrote something with that title, maybe a little sadder that you recommend reading something with this title
based on what the definition of pornograpy – http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&defl=en&q=define%3Apornography&sa=X&e…i=KQ9wTdPlDIGclgfD-ZFn&ved=0CCAQkAE
is this link is saying that hearing others ministry was arousing himsexually?
had the title been Christian Jealousy/Envy or something like that I would have felt better about reading the article.
Second Post:
so as a Christian if I can’t find a better term I can misuse others for my purpose? perhaps we can call Sunday school teachers that go above and beyond the duties to teach their sunday school kids(almost with an unhealthy longing) as”Christian Pedophiles” for lack of better words? See the problem there? it doesn’t describe those teachers correctly. Why? because there is a definition associated with pedophile that is inherently wrong. similar to pornography.
Third Post:
as for whether or not his feelings are sexual, he sure paints it that way
“Obscene thoughts about what is and isn’t “success†in ministry. Crude mind pictures about “what would Jesus build†and what colors and shapes it would be”
what crude m…ind pictures is he having? What crude mind pictures does he think someone reading about Christian Porn would think he’s having? what obscene thoughts is he thinking?
of course he offers what this is really about “Ministry Insecurities”
“I’m going to write more about the issue of insecurity in the near future, so watch for those upcoming posts”
Ministry Insecurities would have been a more effective and correct title.
Conclusion:
It’s sad when we as Christians think we can use words like Pornography and make it good by adding Christian in front of it. What if I wrote “Christian Nympho” to describe those that seem to get a high off the holy spirit and wants more? it’s a terrible way to describe those Christians that are so in love with their lord and savior that they want to experience it more. why? because it paints them as sex maniacs that get their cravings satisfied via the holy spirit. not an accurate description of them really.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here Amos!
While we don’t agree about the use of the term, don’t discount or lose the point. Too easy to throw the baby out with the bath water.
There are lots of Christians (and pastors even) who chase after certain speakers and conferences, all the while saying they are “wanting more” of Jesus, when in truth their personal and family lives are a mess.
Just sayin’. I do appreciate your perspective!
I’ve been to dozens of conferences, but most have had a minimal lasting effect. They tend to be holy pep rallies or worse they seem to teach techniques, like what worked for my church will work for yours.
I wish the emphasis on success would always be how well yourself and others are connecting to Jesus and not how big the congregation is.
Maybe Church bling would be a better description than Christian Porn.
“I wish the emphasis on success would always be how well yourself and others are connecting to Jesus and not how big the congregation is.”
YES! Thanks for sharing Steve!
I feel conferences should in many ways be like (and a few good ones have been) the largest church service you have ever been to.
A bunch of believers of every race, age, and denominational background getting together to focus on Christ should naturally be a worship filled time where Jesus’ prayer from John 17:20-23 for unity is modeled.
There is a place for the “trade show” aspects, I mean there is a need to learn the technical and cultural trends and how others are applying them, but that can’t be the highest goal when believers come together. I need to see brothers and sisters first as family members before I see them as potential customers or career opportunities.
Couldn’t agree more Steve. I think that when we go with that kind of heart, we keep ourselves safe from the aspects I’m addressing in the post.
Todd,
I don’t have an opinion about your topic, though I think your on to something, but something else jumped out at me while I was reading this.
It occurred to me that you continually qualify your statements. With each phase of your post, you said, “I’m not saying this and this is totally this and that but…” I find this disturbing, not that you did this, but that you feel that you must. Your a leader who has followers. You respect them enough to do your homework and be responsible in your posts. Sure not all bloggers do this (see what I just did… ah the qualifier).
Why this struck me is I don’t see bloggers like Seth Godin and others wasting characters and time qualifying why they feel the way they do. Seth would assume, I think, that his “tribe” understands this and chooses to follow him or not. I see this “qualification” language with many Christian bloggers and pastors. Perhaps this is just a writing technique and I’m looking too deep at this (qualifier).
Your post also mentioned leader insecurities. All of these cross topics at some level and seem to deepen the rabbit hole. I may be nuts (qualifier)
This ushers in all kind of leadership theory which I would pay for dinner in order to discuss with you at Catalyst Dallas (Christian Porn?). Whatchya say?
Thanks for your perspective.
KP
Actually, Kevin, Todd didn’t write this post, I did. But I’m not saying he didn’t approve it because if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have posted it!
(I kid, Kevin, I kid!!) Since techno-speak carries no emotive characteristics, I just had to throw that in there!
Seriously, for me, it’s more a writing and communication style than it is an attempt to qualify my material. I consider it clarifying versus qualifying.
I write a lot to people, like you, who don’t know me. It’s my sense it can be a little easier to get to know me via clarification in my writing.
I realize, though, that it qualifies as well as clarifies. Some of us are not Seth Godin (not saying that defensively) and thus do not have a readership like he does or platform that he enjoys.
That said, clarifying and qualifying isn’t coming as much from insecurity (my contention, by the way, is that we are ALL insecure….some of us admit it and others don’t) as it is from a desire to communicate clearly.
Just my opinion. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here.
And, for what it’s worth, I’m OK that you were wanting to ask Todd to lunch in Dallas and not me. ;^)
It used to be called ‘church envy’, also known as covetousness or idolatry/cult of personality. It can have the same effect on a ministry that porn does on a marriage for sure.
Agreed! Thanks for commenting Rev.Spike!
Thanks for the post. I thought I was the only one who was insecure! If you could write more stuff about this, I’d really like to read it.
You are absolutely right. I’ve coined this phenomenon the “Celebrity Christian Culture” and wrote a blog post about it, including the obsession with Twitter and re-tweeting, having a pastoral entourage and body guards, etc. Pastors aren’t shepherds anymore, they’re rock stars.
http://wp.me/p1md1S-H