How to Estimate Church Attendance
Posted by Todd Rhoades in Humor on Nov 23rd, 2009 | 7 commentsAndrew Jones (many of you know him as the TallSkinnyKiwi) recently posted an excellent and practical article on how to correctly estimate your church attendance. Here are some of his criteria:
- 50% if its a Pentecostal worship service because they count the legs and forget to divide by two.
- 30% if its a Baptist church because they count members on the roll and not all of them are still living.
- 25 % if its a Reformed church service because they count the people who SHOULD have been there.
+ 10 if its a Vineyard service because those rugs on the floor were actually people!
+ 20% if it’s a fundamentalist church because they don’t count the people they didn’t want there.
- 10% if its a megachurch because the worship team and welcome team got counted during all 5 services.
+ 20% if it’s an emergent service because those having a smoke outside were not counted.
Funny, huh? Andrew has some others for you to check out over at his blog as well!
Can you come up with any yourself?
7 Responses to “ “How to Estimate Church Attendance”
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Cute, but who’s counting anybody? The Holy Spirit is counting born again believers who attend with an open heart and spirit to worship the Father. We look on the outward appearance and see a man how he wants to be seen. God looks on the inside and MANY are found wanton.
@RevJay–Rev…it was a joke. Come on…lighten up:)
RevJay.
Pentecost.
Somebody counted.
The number made it into God’s Word!
And… yes, it was humor…
I am sure the congregation at rev jay’s church has never been counted. By anyone. Ever. Heh heh . .
God counts the souls who surrender to Him. The others are just numbers that don’t amount to a hill of beans.
The Holy Spirit is counting born again believers who attend with an open heart and spirit to worship the Father.
That’s so true, and so funny Todd. Andrew’s (unfortunately) spot on, as usual.